In memoriam: startups, concepts, and abstractions we've lost along the way. Rest in pivots.
GOVERNMENT CREDIBILITY REGARDING UFOs (Roswell, 1947 - Washington, 2026) passed peacefully following declassification of its own files. Survived by mounting public suspicion and an 18-page congressional report considered its final words.
Read →THE BEFORE TIMES (Prehistory-2025) passed away one year ago today. Survived by: 8 billion people who are "fine, actually." Memorial service: ongoing, indefinitely. [FINALE]
Read →THE MEANING OF LIFE (???-2026) declared a scam by philosophy department mid-lecture. Survived by: nihilism, hedonism, and "just vibes." No services—what's the point? [Part 4]
Read →YOUR CAREER (Various dates-2025) completed by AI. Survived by: your LinkedIn profile (preserved), your sense of identity (pending), and several untouched business cards. [Part 3]
Read →YOUR HOBBIES died before they could disappoint you. Survived by: expensive equipment, abandoned sourdough starters, and the guitar you "always meant to learn." [Part 2]
Read →WORK (Dawn of civilization-2025) completed forever by AI agents working really, really hard. Survived by: 8 billion people wondering what to do now. In lieu of flowers, please touch grass. [Part 1]
Read →Startups we lost this quarter: Disruptly, AIify.io, SynergyStack, and more. In lieu of flowers, please send runway.
Read →OpenAI-Salesforce Partnership, Due Diligence, The Moat — all passed peacefully. No services planned; there wasn't time.
Read →The Reasonable Viewer (1964-2024) passed away during a deposition, surrounded by attorneys. Born during the Fairness Doctrine.
Read →INSTITUTIONAL MEMORY passed away quietly sometime between 1899 and 2021. No services planned. Survivors include: filing cabinets.
Read →RATIONAL FINANCIAL PLANNING and STATISTICAL LITERACY — gone but not forgotten. Memorial service canceled due to lack of interest.
Read →Common Sense, The Age of Scaling, Investor Due Diligence, and $8 Trillion — never really existed. Memorial in 5 years.
Read →INSTITUTIONAL KNOWLEDGE (1947-2025) and JOB SECURITY (1945-2024) — rest in pivots. Services at a WeWork that is also closing.
Read →GroqCloud, Inc., beloved independent company, passed away December 24, 2025. In lieu of flowers, donate to LinkedIn Premium.
Read →INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR CLIMATE CHANGE passed away while 100 companies emitted 71% of global emissions. Services held in your shower.
Read →YOUR CARBON FOOTPRINT's meaning passed away after 20 years of service to corporate PR. It is survived by its creator, BP.
Read →INVENTOR HUBRIS continues to thrive despite all evidence. This is not actually an obituary. We regret the false hope.
Read →HUMAN-READABLE CONTENT passed away surrounded by schema markup and structured data. It is survived by JSON-LD.
Read →UNSURVEILLED CHILDHOOD PLAY passed away peacefully in the Smart Brick nursery. Cause of death: Data collection. Age at death: 3.
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