"All the news that's fit to satirize"
Obituaries Est. 2025 Price: Your Optimism
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YC Startup Obituaries

Startups we lost this quarter: Disruptly, AIify.io, SynergyStack, and more. In lieu of flowers, please send runway.

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Tech Partnership Obituaries

OpenAI-Salesforce Partnership, Due Diligence, The Moat — all passed peacefully. No services planned; there wasn't time.

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The Reasonable Viewer

The Reasonable Viewer (1964-2024) passed away during a deposition, surrounded by attorneys. Born during the Fairness Doctrine.

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Institutional Memory

INSTITUTIONAL MEMORY passed away quietly sometime between 1899 and 2021. No services planned. Survivors include: filing cabinets.

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Financial Planning Obituaries

RATIONAL FINANCIAL PLANNING and STATISTICAL LITERACY — gone but not forgotten. Memorial service canceled due to lack of interest.

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AGI Hype Obituaries

Common Sense, The Age of Scaling, Investor Due Diligence, and $8 Trillion — never really existed. Memorial in 5 years.

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Institutional Knowledge

INSTITUTIONAL KNOWLEDGE (1947-2025) and JOB SECURITY (1945-2024) — rest in pivots. Services at a WeWork that is also closing.

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GroqCloud Obituary

GroqCloud, Inc., beloved independent company, passed away December 24, 2025. In lieu of flowers, donate to LinkedIn Premium.

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Individual Responsibility

INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR CLIMATE CHANGE passed away while 100 companies emitted 71% of global emissions. Services held in your shower.

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Your Carbon Footprint

YOUR CARBON FOOTPRINT's meaning passed away after 20 years of service to corporate PR. It is survived by its creator, BP.

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Inventor Hubris

INVENTOR HUBRIS continues to thrive despite all evidence. This is not actually an obituary. We regret the false hope.

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Human-Readable Content

HUMAN-READABLE CONTENT passed away surrounded by schema markup and structured data. It is survived by JSON-LD.

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Unsurveilled Play

UNSURVEILLED CHILDHOOD PLAY passed away peacefully in the Smart Brick nursery. Cause of death: Data collection. Age at death: 3.

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