We regret the error. All of them, actually. Here's where we got it wrong — or did we?
We regret referring to the ownership transfer as a 'coup.' Legal counsel notes it was technically an 'involuntary corporate succession event.'
Read →We stated Europe was "facing erasure." Europe has contacted us to clarify that it is not. It is quite present. We regret the error. Also: Brussels is in Belgium, not Luxembourg.
Read →We stated the government was "hiding the truth." We regret the error. The government was hiding the absence of truth. Also: a 2009 internal memo asked whether anyone had checked the other filing cabinet. No one had.
Read →An earlier edition stated SpaceX was 'committed to Mars above all else.' This has been updated to reflect that SpaceX is now committed to the Moon above all else. We also removed our Mars Colonization Countdown Clock, which was at 328 days. We regret the error.
Read →We regret comparing hacky sack circles to the Apollo program. NASA notes the Apollo program involved slightly more funding and fewer Birkenstocks.
Read →We described incentive structures as "broken." They are working exactly as designed. They are simply designed badly. Also, Von Neumann predicted this in 1944. We regret the 82-year delay.
Read →We stated AI "lacks human empathy." AI has completed 47 empathy modules and can simulate concern at 99.3% accuracy. We regret the error.
Read →We stated humanity is "fine, actually." 6% report being "also fine, just differently." We regret the oversimplification of fineness. [FINALE]
Read →We reported meaning was a "scam." Philosophers clarify it was "honestly kind of a scam." We regret the insufficient honesty in our original characterization. [Part 4]
Read →WorkSpace™ Executive Suite is $500/hr, not $450/hr. The "circle back" experience is included, not optional. We regret the pricing error. [Part 3]
Read →Clay prices surged 4,000%, not 3,800%. The void remains unfilled regardless of percentage. We regret the mathematical understatement. [Part 2]
Read →We stated "all work" was completed. One task remains: accepting that all work is completed. We regret the recursive oversight. [Part 1]
Read →We incorrectly reported officers read "clown face, clown face, clown face." The official transcript indicates "clown face emoji, clown face emoji, clown face emoji." The word "emoji" was apparently very important.
Read →"We previously claimed to be journalists. This was hyperbole. We are entertainers who dress like journalists."
Read →Nvidia clarifies it merely acquired all of Groq's IP, patents, and people who matter. We regret any implication.
Read →Wikipedia has been making users feel guilty for 24 years, not 23. We regret the error, though not as much as Wikipedia regrets our freeloading.
Read →An earlier version of this nation honored Confederate generals while forgetting Medal of Honor recipients. We regret the 125-year error.
Read →We confirmed Sam Altman requested "100 gigawatts per year." Our editors refused to believe it was real. It was.
Read →Billy-Jo Dieter is 47, not 48. The correction card arrived with a motivational sticker and smelled like lavender.
Read →The beast is real. We previously reported the beast was a dead pilot. This was misinformation. Please do not look in the trees.
Read →Article called subscriber badge "pointless." The badge is worth exactly $4.99/month to those who purchase it. We regret the error.
Read →We implied that shorter showers would help. They won't. We regret giving you hope.
Read →We incorrectly stated BP invented the carbon footprint in 2004. They merely perfected blame-shifting. We regret the nuance.
Read →We suggested reading terms of service. This was satire. No one has time for that. We regret the implication.
Read →Some inventors in our list died of natural causes, not ironic ones. Death is rarely as poetic as we suggested.
Read →We stated authentic engagement was possible. Our editorial team has been retrained. We regret the optimism.
Read →We implied humans could optimize for robots. The robots have informed us this is backwards. We regret the species error.
Read →We called the surveillance "unprecedented." It was very precedented. We regret the surprise.
Read →