Crime reports, suspicious activities, and law enforcement encounters that make you question who's really protecting and serving whom.
Officers dispatched to woman's residence after she replied to mayor's "Safe Haven" post with clown emojis. Officer reads "clown face, clown face, clown face" into official record with full professional gravitas.
Read Report →Immigration enforcement issues deportation order to 11-trillion-ton glacier for "moving toward US waters without documentation since the Pleistocene." Union chief weeps tears of brand destiny.
Read Report →Ex-government interrogator pivots to corporate coaching. Advises employees that authentic self-suppression techniques translate directly to open-plan office survival.
Read Report →Defense Department announces new policy: "The vocabulary does the ethics now." Renaming war activities found to be more cost-effective than actually changing them.
Read Report →Six satirical crime entries including: Man arrested for believing broadcast, woman cited for attempting "rhetorical hyperbole" defense at DMV, judge missing after attempting to locate "reasonable viewer."
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