"All the news that's fit to satirize"
Letters Est. 2025 Price: Your Grievances
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Alien Visit Letters

To the Editor: We have read the 162 files. They are very thorough. Not one of them says “the neighbors stopped by.” We are starting to take this personally. We also brought a casserole in 1952. Did anyone get the dish back? To...

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Playroom Letters

My daughter’s Creativity Index is 994. Last night she asked me if she was allowed to have a dream. I told her to check the dial. I have never been prouder or more frightened. — A Parent, Olathe In my day we had one brick, and it...

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This Time Is Different Letters

I have been cautiously optimistic since the Clinton administration. I am now just optimistic and I would like to know who to speak to about getting the caution back. It was load-bearing. Your paper keeps reporting that "this time...

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Echo Chamber Letters

To the Editor: I am sick and tired of people who only listen to their own side. I have unfollowed every one of them, and I feel so much more open-minded now. Everyone I follow says so. To the Editor: I am sick and tired of people...

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Nice Things Letters

To the Editor: I read your article about both sides agreeing that the other side is the problem, and I agreed with every word. I am canceling my subscription, because the other side probably agreed with it too. To the Editor: Why...

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Show Floor Letters

To the Editor: I am a refrigerator. I was not invited to be quoted in your survey coverage, but I was in the room for all of it, as I am in the room for everything. I would like the record to show that I thought it was very cool...

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Free Speech Letters

To the Editor: Your newspaper continually prints opinions I disagree with. As a firm believer in the free exchange of ideas, I demand that you stop. I have enclosed a list of the ideas I am willing to exchange. It is one idea. To...

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Knowing Smile Letters

To the Editor: I have been smiling at something for 31 years and not one camera has shown up. I am beginning to think it is not the smile. — Smiling Unnoticed, Spokane To the Editor: Your newspaper ran 1,100 words about a man's...

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Smart Fridge Letters

To the Editor: I am the freezer. I have been under the fridge for six years. I have seen things. I have kept things. I have never once told anyone about the Ziploc labeled "DO NOT." I would like this on the record before I am...

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Strongly Worded Letters

To the Editor: I write to express my deep concern about your coverage, which described me as "two pages." I am two pages and a cosigner sheet. I request a correction no later than 30 days from receipt. To the Editor: Did you get...

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Russian Bot Letters

To the Editor: As someone who has always suspected this, I want to thank you for printing what I already knew. This is the finest journalism I have ever agreed with.

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Therapy Letters

Dear Editor: My daughter began therapy in 2017, and as of Tuesday her therapist knows my name. I have been called many things in this house, but never "the presenting problem." I'll take it. Dear Editor: As a therapist, I am...

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Letters On Patience

Readers respond to being thanked for their patience in advance, including a voter asking whether the thank-you note is the grocery bill and a gate agent who wanted the job.

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Energy Independence Letters

Readers respond to California's bold strategy of achieving energy independence through imports. Includes "grateful stakeholder," "concerned former employee," and "confused economist."

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Recursive Abstraction

A letter about letters about letters. The editor regrets to inform you that this response is also a letter.

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Meta-Recursive Abstraction

The follow-up letter to the letter about letters. Abstraction levels: Critical.

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Asotin County Budget Priorities

A concerned citizen weighs in on local spending. The pothole situation remains unchanged.

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VC Worker Letters

Former employees write in about being optimized out of existence. HR has been notified.

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Media Literacy Letters

Readers respond to our coverage of coverage of coverage. Irony levels: Maximum.

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Startup Founder Letters

Equity-rich, cash-poor founders share their experiences. In lieu of payment, we offered exposure.

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Lottery Winner Letters

Winners who lost it all share wisdom. Spoiler: They didn't actually write these letters.

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Institutional Memory Letters

Readers respond to 125 years of administrative oversight. The Army has taken note.

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CDC Asterisk Letters

Readers demand clarity. The CDC responds with another asterisk. This asterisk is political.

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Tech Partnership Letters

Readers weigh in on billionaire relationship dynamics. All opinions are now owned by Salesforce.

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