A Normalized Reality-to-Satire Curve for the Modern Age
The Poe's Law Distribution Curve
Reality Verifiable Facts
The Danger Zone Indistinguishable
Satire Obvious Parody
Reality Zone
Headlines so mundane they couldn't possibly be satire. Boring, verifiable, depressingly real.
Poe's Abyss
The cursed middle ground where reality and satire become quantum-entangled. Here be dragons.
Satire Zone
So absurd it must be fake. Giant lasagna, alien mayors, time-traveling accountants.
Current Timeline Absurdity Index
87.3
Normalized on a scale of 0-100 (updated in real-time*)
*Not actually updated in real-time. Reality updates too fast to track.
Understanding the Curve
The Absurdity Meter visualizes the fundamental problem of modern information: as reality becomes increasingly absurd, satire becomes harder to distinguish from genuine news.
At the extremes, identification is easy. "Local Man Eats Sandwich" is clearly real. "Moon Revealed to Be Giant Space Egg" is clearly fake. But in the middle? That's where we live now.
A = (R × S) / D²
Where A = Absurdity, R = Reality coefficient, S = Satire plausibility, D = Distinguishability factor
The peak of the curve represents maximum confusion—headlines that could equally be from The New York Times or The Onion. This is Poe's Law made manifest.
Calibrate Your Absurdity Detector
Can you tell where these headlines fall on the curve? Test your calibration.
"Tech Company Offers Employees Unlimited PTO, Surprised When Nobody Takes Any"
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Correct!
Your Absurdity Calibration
0/5
Rate the Headlines
Drag the slider to rate each headline's position on the absurdity spectrum.
"Man Sues Parents for Being Born Without His Consent"
Source: ???
Reality
Poe's Abyss
"Florida Man Arrested for Throwing Alligator Through Drive-Thru Window"
Source: ???
Reality
Poe's Abyss
"Company Introduces 'Crying Rooms' for Employees Overwhelmed by AI Anxiety"
Source: ???
Reality
Poe's Abyss
The Absurd Headline Generator
Spin the reels to generate headlines that may or may not already exist.
Subject
Florida Man
Action
Sues
Object
The Sun
Reason
For Emotional Damages
"Florida Man Sues The Sun For Emotional Damages"
COMPUTED ABSURDITY RATING
73
Disturbingly Plausible
Analyze Your Own Headline
Paste any headline and our proprietary algorithm will determine its position on the absurdity spectrum.
72
Poe's Abyss
Hyperbole Factor+12
Florida Man Coefficient+0
Corporate Buzzword Density+8
Plausibility Penalty-5
2020s Timeline Bonus+15
When Satire Became Reality
A brief history of The Onion predicting the future.
2012 → 2022
"No Way To Prevent This, Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens"
The Onion republished this same article 21+ times after mass shootings, each time changing only the location and date.
Gap: Ongoing (satire as permanent commentary)
2011 → 2017
"Trump Begins Presidential Campaign By Descending Golden Escalator"
He actually descended a golden escalator to announce his 2015 campaign. The image was so absurd that satirists had already written it.
Gap: 4 years
2008 → 2014
"Frustrated Populace Utilizes Alarm System To Rise Early, Work All Day, Accumulate Wealth For Others"
This description of late-stage capitalism became the basis for the "antiwork" movement that exploded on social media.
Gap: 6 years
2001 → 2001
"Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'"
Published January 2001. By September 2001, the article had become a prophecy. Wars and recession followed.
Gap: 8 months
2015 → 2023
"Company Assures Employees That Layoffs Will Continue Until Morale Improves"
Tech companies actually used similar logic, claiming layoffs were for "efficiency" while posting record profits.
Gap: 8 years
Absurdity Bingo
Click squares when you spot these in the wild. Get five in a row to win (everyone loses).
Tech CEO declares empathy
Billionaire "self-made"
AI will solve it
Thoughts and prayers
Florida Man
Study finds obvious thing
Millennials killed industry
Return to office mandate
Record profits, layoffs
Crypto is the future
Politician denies video evidence
Influencer apologizes
FREE (Reality is absurd)
Company rebrands problem
Expert surprised
Pipeline protest
Healthcare GoFundMe
Disrupting industry
Wellness app breach
Metaverse pivot
Supply chain issues
Unpaid internship
Algorithm bias
Climate record broken
Just asking questions
Mark the squares as you encounter them in real life