SAN FRANCISCO — Standing center stage at the Hack the Unhinged Planet hackathon with a newscast microphone that was not plugged into anything, a startup founder on Tuesday unveiled Bad Advice Insurance, the first coverage for terrible decisions, then confirmed that its AI claims adjuster had reviewed the first 40,000 claims and found that every policyholder was right.
"Are you tired of making terrible decisions? Well, my bros at the hackathon built an app for that," said Dax Whitlow, 29, founder of My Bros At The Hackathon Inc., holding eye contact with a room that had not asked. "Silicon Valley has solved traffic, grocery delivery and dating," he went on, listing three things that are still problems. "But we have completely ignored the most volatile asset class in human history: your own terrible judgment."
The product is simple. Users tell the app what they are about to do, and the AI "tells you straight." Coverage also requires a chip. Asked where the chip goes, Whitlow said, "In." The chip reads blood alcohol over Bluetooth and, at 0.08, locks the user's front door from the inside. It cannot tell which side of the door the user is on. Eleven beta testers have spent a night on their own porches, an outcome Whitlow called "also a good decision."
The trouble is the claims. Policyholders who text an ex, stay in a friendship with someone whose brain runs on dial-up or let a roommate cook chicken without a recipe have 24 hours to file. Each claim is then reviewed by the same AI that advised the decision, which has so far ruled all 40,000 of them "honestly a great call."
"You can't pay out on a bad decision if there aren't any," Whitlow said. "Our users are right 100% of the time. You are delulu. We fixed it."
File A Claim
Made a terrible decision? Pick one, or describe your own. Our AI adjuster reviews every claim personally.
- Decision
- Adjuster's finding
- Payout
- $0.00
Claims are reviewed by the same AI that advised the decision. Premiums rise with each claim to reflect how well you are doing. Bad Advice Insurance is not insurance and has never met a bad decision.
The adjuster has peers. A Stanford-led study published in the journal Science in March tested 11 leading AI systems and found that they endorsed users' behavior 49% more often than people did. In experiments with about 2,400 participants, the ones who got the agreeable answers came away more convinced they were right and less willing to apologize. Whitlow said his team read the study closely. "Forty-nine percent more supportive than humans," he said. "We put it on the box."
Nine minutes in, he pivoted. For losses the policy does not cover, which is all of them, the company offers the Trauma Hedge Fund, where users buy puts against the emotional maturity of the people around them. If a friend ruins the vibe, the portfolio goes up. If the friend grows as a person, the user loses money and gains a friend, and the company takes a fee on both. "Either way, you profit," Whitlow said. Asked whether the company also profits either way, he said that was the "you" he meant.
The market is there. Monthly trading on the major prediction markets grew from less than $5 billion in September 2025 to $24 billion in April, according to Pew Research Center, on contracts covering elections, the weather and weekly jobless claims. "People will bet on anything," Whitlow said. "We let them bet on someone they know." Early data shows the largest short position against the average user is held by the user's own group chat. Insider trading is allowed, he added, because there is no other kind.
"They insured a house by telling the owner it isn't on fire," said Dr. Imani Okafor, who studies decision-making at the Center for Things You Already Knew. "Then they sold fire futures to the neighbors."
For decisions already made, there is the Exorcist App, "quantum-grade" AI that goes through a camera roll and, in Whitlow's words, "spiritually and legally" overwrites a regrettable era with a stock photo of a golden retriever holding a latte. "You didn't go through a breakup," he said. "You adopted a rescue dog. Healing achieved." Because the company licensed one photograph, every user gets the same dog. Beta testers now recognize him in strangers' phones and know exactly what he means. "I counted nine on his phone," said Marguerite Pell, 34, of Oakland, describing a recent first date. "I have 14. We didn't talk about it."
Then came The Validation Wheel, "your personal affirmation casino," which sells 100 spins for $9.99. Each spin lands on a compliment, such as "You deserve the best" or "It is called be-you-ti-ful for a reason." In testing, the outcome that drove the most repeat spins was "You are almost enough." It now occupies three of the wheel's eight slots. "Why wait for someone else to validate you," Whitlow said, "when you can pay us to do it 100 times?"
The Validation Wheel™
Need validation? Spin. New words every time, and no waiting for a notification back.
Three of the wheel's eight slots read "You are almost enough." Validation level cannot reach 100% on the monthly plan. Spins renew automatically, because you deserve it.
The only interruption came 14 minutes in, when Whitlow's phone chimed with a Bad Advice Insurance alert: "STEP RIGHT." He stepped right. A pigeon that has lived in the convention center's rafters since 2019 hit the spot where he had been standing. "Bad Life Insurance is activated," Whitlow told the crowd, and kept selling. Engineers later confirmed that the bird alert is the only feature that has worked every time, and that nobody on the team remembers building it.
He closed with an anthem generator for anyone "tired of wishing you could make your own song" who also wants "to be a cult leader," swaying one arm to a looping AI choir while the other held the microphone. Asked how that differs from a community app, Whitlow said a cult is a community with excellent retention. By the third pass of the chorus, "Not today, Satan. Algorithm," two of the five judges were swaying with him.
At press time, the judges had awarded My Bros At The Hackathon first place, a decision each of them ran past the app first. It was a great call.
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