Study Finds 100% Of "Evaporating" Colorado Towns Still Located In Colorado

DENVER — In a groundbreaking study that has sent shockwaves through the YouTube real estate content ecosystem, researchers at the University of Colorado's Department of Obvious Geography have confirmed that 100% of Colorado mountain towns described as "evaporating" in a viral video are, in fact, still located in Colorado and have not evaporated in any measurable sense.

"We used a revolutionary methodology called 'looking,'" explained Dr. Helena Cartwright, who led the research team. "We drove to each town. They were there. We drove back. This took several days but yielded conclusive results."

The study was prompted by a viral video that has been viewed over 2 million times, warning of "entire communities evaporating" and a "catastrophic collapse" in Colorado ski towns. The video promised to reveal "the one town everyone believes is untouchable" — which turned out to be Aspen, a revelation that surprised approximately no one who has heard of Colorado.

40% Of "Ski Towns" Found To Be Not Ski Towns

Perhaps most damning to the video's credibility, researchers discovered that 40% of the "Top 10 Ski Towns in Total Free Fall" are not, in fact, ski towns. Silverthorne, which made the list, is primarily known for its outlet mall and Costco. Edwards is a suburb. Pagosa Springs is located approximately 30 miles from the nearest ski lift, a distance researchers describe as "too far to be a ski town by any reasonable definition."

"It's like making a 'Top 10 Beaches in Free Fall' video and including Nebraska," Dr. Cartwright noted. "The financial investigation, as the video called it, apparently did not include Google Maps as part of its investigative toolkit."

The video's methodology for determining "collapse" was also called into question. In Aspen and Telluride — markets where homes routinely sell for $50-150 million in cash and there is essentially zero inventory — the video claimed prices had "collapsed" based on median price swings that researchers attributed to "different houses selling in different quarters, which is how real estate works."

The Aspen-Telluride Paradox

The video's inclusion of Aspen and Telluride — two of the most expensive real estate markets on Earth — drew particular scrutiny. "Aspen had maybe 12 sales last quarter," explained real estate analyst Marcus Chen. "One of them was a $150 million compound. The next quarter, three $4 million condos sold. The median 'collapsed' 90%. What actually happened? Different stuff sold."

Researchers noted that the buyer pool for an $8 million ski chalet consists of approximately 50 people worldwide, all of whom are currently busy running hedge funds. The video's revelation that luxury homes "sit empty for 400 days" was reclassified from "crisis" to "how $8 million purchases have always worked."

"The video expressed shock that expensive things take a while to sell," Dr. Cartwright said. "By this logic, the yacht market is also in 'free fall.' So is the private jet market. So is the market for Monet paintings. This is not news. This is arithmetic."

"Desperate To Hide" Information Found On Zillow

The video's claim that local brokers are "desperate to hide" the collapse drew the most pointed criticism. "The brokers are hiding this information on Zillow," Dr. Cartwright noted. "And Redfin. And MLS. And yard signs. And open houses. And Instagram ads. And email blasts. They're desperately hiding it by doing their jobs publicly, which is an innovative approach to secrecy."

When reached for comment, a Breckenridge real estate broker laughed for approximately 45 seconds before composing herself. "Yes, we're desperate to hide the listings we need to sell in order to make money," she said. "That's definitely how our business works. We hate it when people see the homes we're trying to sell."

Statistical Astrology

The study devoted an entire chapter to what researchers termed "statistical astrology" — the practice of using real numbers in ways that produce meaningless conclusions. "Saying Telluride prices 'collapsed 30%' because different houses sold in different quarters is like measuring average height at an NBA game during halftime versus after the game and concluding that humans are shrinking," Dr. Cartwright explained.

The video's dramatic language also came under fire. "Price drops that look like typos" turned out to be normal 10-15% corrections from pandemic peaks. "'Evaporating communities' turned out to be communities that still exist. Every single one of them. We checked."

The "Coastal Elite" Time Capsule

Researchers expressed confusion at the video's reliance on 2021 narratives to explain 2025 market conditions. "The 'Zoomtown boom' ended in 2022," noted Dr. Cartwright. "Making a video in 2025 announcing that it's over is like making a video announcing that the 2008 financial crisis has begun. This is not news. This is archaeology."

The video's villain — the "coastal elite" tech worker who "fled to the mountains" during COVID — was also found to be largely irrelevant to current conditions. "That person bought their cabin in 2021. They paid cash. They still own it. They're not selling. They're not affected by YouTube videos about market conditions. They're skiing right now."

The $25 Cocktail Index

As additional evidence that ski towns have not "evaporated," researchers pointed to what they call the "$25 Cocktail Index." "If a community were truly in collapse, drinks would be cheap," Dr. Cartwright explained. "In every single 'collapsing' town we visited, cocktails were $22-30. The bars were full. There was a wait for tables. This is not evaporation. This is a Tuesday."

The study also noted that I-70 traffic to "collapsing" ski towns remained 2-3 hours on peak weekends. "If you attempt to drive to Breckenridge to witness the 'evaporation,' you will sit in traffic for three hours surrounded by thousands of other people also going to the evaporating town. Curious!"

Conclusions

The study concluded with several key findings: (1) All Colorado towns described as "evaporating" remain in Colorado. (2) 40% of the "ski towns" in the video are not ski towns. (3) "Collapse" in the video means "10-15% correction from pandemic peaks." (4) Information "desperately hidden by brokers" is available on Zillow. (5) The "shocking" #1 town was Aspen, which everyone predicted immediately. (6) Luxury homes have always taken a long time to sell. (7) The "coastal elite" bought their cabin in 2021 and is currently skiing.

When asked about the video's 2 million views, Dr. Cartwright sighed. "Being scary works. Being accurate doesn't. Welcome to content."

The video creator could not be reached for comment. They are believed to be working on a follow-up video titled "SHOCKING: 10 Beaches In TOTAL FREE FALL (3 Are In Nebraska)."