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Top 10 Gems

Ranked by Irony Level • The Best of the Worst
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The study was retracted not because it was wrong, but because it was correct in a way that was inconvenient
Irony ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
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This year, the turkey pardons YOU
Irony ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
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We colonized the land, banned Indigenous fire practices, created 100 years of fuel buildup, invented forever chemicals, put them in everything, built houses full of them in fire zones, and now the turkeys are poison. This is not a system, it's a Rube Goldberg machine of consequences.
Irony ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
4
"Population groundswell mitigation" — because "suppressing evidence of mass poisoning" tested poorly with focus groups
Irony ☠️☠️☠️☠️
5
90% of firefighter line-of-duty deaths are from cancer. They're poisoned by the gear they wear, the foam they spray, and the smoke from your PFAS-laden carpets. Happy Thanksgiving!
Irony ☠️☠️☠️☠️
6
The study found 6,800 cancer deaths per year. The retraction found 0 cancer deaths per year. Science!
Irony ☠️☠️☠️☠️
7
"Do not eat" advisories now cover 17 states — still fewer than the states that ban books
Irony ☠️☠️☠️☠️
8
California banned PFAS foam. The PFAS from the previous 70 years of foam will be ready for comment in approximately 3024.
Irony ☠️☠️☠️
9
The Forest Service's 1935 "10 AM Policy" (extinguish all fires by 10 AM): the origin story for your poisoned Thanksgiving turkey.
Irony ☠️☠️☠️
10
Retracting the study doesn't un-poison the water. But it does un-poison the quarterly earnings call.
Irony ☠️☠️☠️
☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Maximum Irony
☠️☠️☠️☠️ Severe Irony
☠️☠️☠️ High Irony